It is so hard to stop thinking about you.
I think I have realized that I will never get you back.
You will never love me like you did before.
So I'll do just that.
Just let me miss you one last time.
There are so many things that I miss about you, I don't even know how to start.
I miss seeing your face first thing in the morning.
I miss those times we just opened our eyes and simply look at each other with a smile for a long long time.
I miss you singing good morning, good morning, it’s great to stay up late next to my ears when we didn’t stay up at all.
I miss the times you stayed in bed all day just listen to the rain and watched TV.
I miss those times we just talk when we wake up, the talks that made us understand each other more than anyone else.
I miss the times you flip on top of me and say you love me.
I miss when I made you laugh at the smallest things. An impression or some silly joke, though I am not very good at it.
I miss your innocent smile, as bright as your nick name, makes me forget about my worries, the smile that I fell in love with by first sight.
I miss those four tiny wrinkles on your nose when you smile, just like that song “what a wonderful day”.
I miss the way you say “I don’t have wrinkles on my nose!!”
I miss your nose, I used to bite it. You used to say it’s big, but it is not big at all.
I miss your soft lips, the first set of lips I kissed. They are red like peach blossom on their own, the sexiest feature on your face.
I miss your tongue, soft yet firm, warm and moist like the beach in Taiwan. You make it touch your chin just to make me smile.
I miss your chin. it has a life of its own.
I miss playing with your ears, and hearing you say “No sloppy ear!”
I miss your soft dark brown hair, which is not black. When it was very long I used to sleep on it and hurt you by accident. I love playing with your hair and see you close your eyes to enjoy my touch with a big big smile, making meow meow noises. When we first got together, you didn’t used to comb it. You wanted me to play with your hair, so you started combing it everyday.
I miss the way your hair smells, first it smelled like lavender, then coconut, for a while it smelled like green apple, now it smells like pomegranate. When I tried to bring the two huge bottles of pomegranate shampoo and conditioner onto the plane, the security looked at me like I am crazy.
I miss when I tell you how beautiful you looked, how sexy you are, how cute and pretty you are, with a big smile your eyes lit up as say "Really?"
I miss when I tell you how beautiful you looked, how sexy you are, how cute and pretty you are, you blush looks away and say "You lie, only you would think that."
I miss when I tell you how beautiful you looked, how sexy you are, how cute and pretty you are, you tilt up your head and proudly say "I know~" Even though you are kidding, but I always wished that you really know just how beautiful you are.
I miss when you try very hard to speak Mandarin in your cute sweet little voice to me. You always ask me "Wo3 De Yan3 Jing Zi4 Na3 Li3". Your Yan3 Jing is on your face, and your Yan Jing4 is on the desk :) You are a great learner. Thank you.
I miss when you send me little e-cards and letters. I kept them all. They are in a box somewhere at your place.
I miss going to a mall with you, just browsing the windows because there is little we wanted when we had each other. We would just hold hands, get close to each other. See if there is something that could make each other laugh.
I miss going to Glen Ivy spa with you. I get to see you in your swim suit all day. We get to unwind and talk about anything we want. Remember the first time we went? I had the pita with pine nuts and avocados in it and we shared a glass of Champagne. You got the worse sun burn when you came home. Fake tan~
I miss your beautiful sexy even skin tone, looks good enough to eat.
I miss how much you adored laxy, like he was really your child. You were so happy when we found little clothes for him in Long Beach and you kept asking me if they would fix our chubby little boy.
I miss how you comforted me when I am sad. You would buy me little gifts like Butterstick and the Bunnies just to make me feel better.
I miss those times when you say you are going to kick my butt.
I miss all the little excuses you’d make when you don’t want to shower, brush your teeth, or take off your contacts.
I miss you rubbing your eyes with your arm softly to put yourself to sleep. You look like a little kitten.
I miss when you sing, you’d close your eyes and squeeze out a powerful voice out of that little body of yours.
I miss when you randomly starts singing the "Namo Ami Buddha" song. It makes smile.
I miss when you ask me to sing to you before you sleep. I try really hard not to be too loud and my voice ends up all squeaky.
I miss that time when we went to watch Lion King, and I sang really loud on the way back. You looked at me funny.
I miss when we went to Gospel choir, and we sit next to each other and have fun with singing. We would sing all the back to your place together.
I miss when we went to the Black church in Santa Ana, we were the only two asian people in the place. How we were moved by their power.
I miss taking you to Hotpot, taking you to try new restaurants, taking you to Furduccis, the falafel king, to sushi rikki, to Nice time deli, the porridge place, even when we used to goto Oshine. You were always so excited.
I miss how we would be truly upset when our favorite restaurant closed down when we haven’t gone for a while.
I miss how you were willing to try new things. Sometimes even when you knew you wouldn’t like it, you’d do it just to make me happy.
I miss how you can have fun and be a little kid around me. How being with you makes me be myself. How relaxed and truthful we were. The trust of each other, makes me know you are the one.
I miss the total trust we shared. We trusted each other so much. We respected each other's privacy.
I miss when we talk about places we wanted to go together, Hawaii, Tahiti, Jamaica, Taiwan, Philippines, Alaska, New York, Vancouver, Yellow Stone, Las Vegas, Europe, New Zealand, Australia and San Diego. We would go out and get all the pamphlets and look at the price, planning out our dream vacation.
I miss when I drove for 2 day to Vancouver, you were there to open the door for me. And I forgot about how tired I was. You were so passionate. Don’t you know sil, I am willing to do anything for you.
I miss when you came to visit me. You brought me the bottle of raspberry Champagne. Your chubby cheeks blushed; I thought it looked like the color of happiness.
I miss giving you back rub and foot massages. You looked so relaxed. Like it’s not my hand touching you, but soft warm feather blanket covering your entire body. I miss how you fall asleep right after my massages. Even on that last day.
I love hearing your little moaning. See your face change with every little pain and pleasure. See the joy that came in your face. See the passion in your eyes. Feel no more space left between us. Immerse myself in you. Like that Mayday Rock song, you are the vast warm ocean, and I am just the drop of rain.
I miss taking bubble bath with you. For that I cleaned the bath tub as often as I could in Parkwest, so we could make bubble bikinis for each other.
I miss going to the arc with you. You always look so serious when you work out.
I miss picking you up at school, at work or at home.
I miss cooking with you. Looking up receipts and browsing the grocery store. Make meals that are cheap and fancy. Make meals that we both never had before. Then we enjoy it over a movie, mostly Bridget Jones. Saffron rice, Lemon Asparagus rice, Tofu mushroom in white sauce, Butterfly Shrimp.
I miss cooking for you, so when you get home all tired and cold, you have something warm to fill you up.
I miss you cooking for me. Pancakes, Sinigang Stew, and all the dishes I love.
I miss how you are willing to give up meat almost all the time for me.
I miss your poutie lips when you are mad at me.
I miss your forgiveness and your kindness. Something I have worn out.
I miss the biggest smile on your face that I could see 10 feet away when you are waiting for me at the airport.
I miss when you were happy.
I miss when you were happy because we were together.
I miss when love was easy.
I miss when love yields no pain.
I miss your tears in your eyes that day I left.
I miss when we went to the Grand Canyon. When your eyes were lit by the millions of stars we’ve never knew existed. Watching the shooting stars pass by every ten seconds. Baobei, my wish didn’t come true.
I miss when you say you miss me.
I miss having you to miss.
There is so much more…
And I'll have to forget them all, one day at a time.
像 What A wonderful day 那首歌。