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jimmyhang.jpg

Hi baobei,

I was looking up running clubs around here and the closest running club is 30 minute away without traffic and there is always traffic. Then I realized, you are in a great place right now. I mean you live 5 minutes away from work. You live in the best part of Irvine, right next to the lake, in the center of all the activities. You live in Irvine, the nicest place I have ever lived in, and I lived in quite a few places in my life, none compare to Irvine. You are only one hour away from your parents’ home. You are only 30 minutes away from dragon boat practice. Last be not least, you are only 40 minutes away from the person you want to spend time with. Far enough so you don’t see each other everyday, but close enough to see each other anytime you want to. Granted you might feel like you don’t make enough money to really do what you want. But once you pay off your loan and your car, you have lots of free money to manage.

I know your job is tough and you are tired of it. I do think you should start looking for what you want to do in the future. Maybe even apply for some interviews and get some idea of what’s out there. But just hang on for one more year and you will get your license. Then the avenue of choice will open up to you. So just hang on a little longer, and everything will work out. I hope you get to like your job again, at least not let it bring you down so much, because you do have a great life. I am glad for you.

As for me, my boss’s wife gave me a bottle of Caladryl. I have to say it doesn’t really help. But the patches are getting less intense. I guess that’s always good.

Comedy network is coming out with a show to make fun of the Queer Eyes for the Straight Guy, called “Straight Plans for the Gay Man”. Hahaha. It’s about the Flab Four teaching gay man what it means to be straight. I haven’t seen it, but sure sounds pretty funny.

By the way, check your mail on Friday.

I miss you. Life is not the same without you.

Urs Rex

By the way, are you going to run in the wine country 5k?
By the way, what are your plans for your 3 day v-day weekend?

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  • Feb 13 Fri 2004 01:45
  • RE: hi

jimmygirl.jpg

Day,

There is no right or wrong about how your feelings for me changed.
Of course that breaks my heart, but besides hoping to get you back, there are no blaming or pointing fingers.

You don't need to feel selfish or anything.
If Sebastian makes you happier than when you are with me, there's nothing I can do about it.
If seeing him during the weekends is more exhilarating than seeing me on the weekends, there nothing I can do about it.
If talking to him is more meaningful than talking to me, if you rather confide in him than confide in me,
I have failed at some point, and I didn't make you happy. I'll just have to accept that.
There is no anger towards you. Though there are lots of it towards myself.

I don't want you staying with me because you pity me.
I want the Day who wanted to stay with me because she loves me and wants to experience life with me.
Like how I want to experience life with her.
You don't need to feel sorry for me or pity me now either.
All I wanted is that you care about me, because you are my best friend.

I am upset, however, with the way you dealt with our relationship in the end.
At some point, when we were still together, you felt like you rather not talk to me about how you feel.
When you just left me and don't want to talk to me at all.
I felt I was a piece of an old toy, and you just want to shove me away and have nothing to do with it.
It is really unfair. I don’t deserve this. I care about you so much.

I don't want you to feel guilty when you think of me.
That is why you shouldn't just push me away or hide from me.
I don't want to be just one of your "acquaintances". I want to be your friend.
Someone you want to talk to. Someone you have fun hanging out with.
Someone you call up and ask how they are doing.
When you ever come by the Bay Area, you would want to drop by and visit me.
Or call me up one day and ask me to come down because you want to see me.

I am glad you are willing to write to me now.
Maybe we should have done this even when we were still together.
But it's not too late to start the healing process, right? ^_^~

I don't want to affect your mood when you are working, so I won't send you this through e-mail.
You can just read this on your own time in your cozy room.

For now, I wish you have a great morning and that work will get better for you.
Hope you have no guilt and no worries when you are with the one you love.
please know if you ever need me, I'll be there for you.

I'll miss you,

Yours,
Rex

p.s. I'll e-mail you my address later.
p.p.s. This girl looks like you in your comfee spot.






>Subject: hi
>Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 07:41:31
>
>R,
>
>I read your message board. I will start writing to you more. It is
>unfair that you share your emotions and you always get left out in the
>cold with mine. I don't have much time right now, but I wanted to let
>you know that I still think about you from time to time. I worry about
>whether you are getting better. I feel bad that I left you alone in san
>jose. I have a feeling of guilt. I felt like I was being selfish. Was
>I being selfish? Was I wrong to do what I did? To me, it doesn't feel
>wrong, but when I think of you, I feel bad. I think of how unfair it
>was to you. I just don't know sometimes. In a way, I wish that you
>were angry with me because I would understand why you were mad at me.
>but you don't seem mad at me and I just don't know how to deal with
>that. I want you to be part of my life, but there are things I need to
>sort out right now and I just don't know where you fit in. I hope this
>is fine for now.
>
>D
>
>p.s. I bought you a present, perhaps you can call it a x-mas,
>valentine's, birthday gift. I wanted to send it to you with some of
>your mail. What is your address again? If you would rather I didn't
>send you the stuff, just let me know.

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