How are you doing?
I guess that’s a silly question. You must be doing well. Who wouldn’t be happy being with the one that they love. Gong to dragon boat practice to be with friends, running 5k with the one that you care about, you must be really happy now. I just got from San Diego… Ok that’s not true, after I got off the plane I went to my Company’s farewell party. I only had one Genes and I turned purple had had a bad headache.
After admitting that you will never come back again, I am feeling a little better. It still hurts when I look at our pictures, because it reminds me of how happy we were. But when I miss you, it doesn’t hurt that much anymore. I guess I am just getting numb.
When I went to San Diego on Friday, I was feeling pretty good. I guess a new environment helps to distract me. I was amused when I discovered that I am staying in this place with a living room, a study, a kitchen, upstairs and 2 beds alone. I sent you a text in excitement. Then I discovered that I even have 2 bathrooms, I thought it was pretty funny, so I sent another text telling you I have two bathrooms. Little did I know that the first text message actually didn’t go through. So all you saw was me telling you that I have two bathrooms.
I got in the hotel at 9:00 and I haven’t had dinner. My hotel is the Residence Inn at La Jolla, right next to UCSD, the mall, and that church they call Disneyland. So I went for a walk in hope of stumbling on to some nice restaurants. Instead, I found something better, Rubio’s! It must been months since I had Rubio’s. I was so excited, so I sent you another text. I had the tres-fish taco special for 4.25. I love southern California. It’s like coming home, even when I am in San Diego. All the stores are familiar and the atmosphere is the same.
Maybe my messages reminded you of me. When you called me, I was surprised. I was also very touched, because you cared. I am very sorry that I asked you about Sebastian, which dragged our conversation down to the poopers. But like I said, if Sebastian is a big part of your life, there is no avoiding it. I want to be your friend. But I also want you be to truthful to me. If we couldn’t do that when we were a couple, at least we can be truthful when we are friends. I guess I won’t be hearing from you for a while.
The next day after the training, me, Simon (from Hong Kong office) JC (from Korean office) and Dave went to this bar where the Qualcomm people calls Building K. I didn’t want anything to drink, but everyone ordered a glass of Amber, so I ordered a small one. But Dave, of all of them, ordered a glass of water! Wait, that’s what I WANT!
The whole time I was looking at my phone, hoping for something. After I came home, I logged on online and hope to see someone. Finally I decided to get out. I was thinking about going to the Zoo to see the nocturnal animals, but that is only for the summer. So I asked Donna what’s there to do around La Jolla. Instead of telling me where all the hot UCSD girls hang out, she started talking to me, something that hasn’t happened for a long while. We talked about you, and she asked me if I’d like to meet at Rubio’s. I guess she wanted to cheer me up.
So, that’s how I met Donna for the first time. She’s not exactly how I pictured she’d look. Instead of talking about the breakup like she wanted, we talked about politics. Quite funny I think. She’s probably the only girl I know who likes to talk about politics, which is something I don’t really enjoy talking about with friends, ha.
On Thursday, I got back from work and the area around my hotel had a black out. There was no light anywhere at my hotel. So I decided to go to Irvine to have dinner. I figured, it only takes about an hour to get to Irvine. Just like going to Rowland Heights on a weeknight to have dinner right? I was planning to get there and leave the keys, then ask you to pick it up. That way you wouldn’t have to see me. Traffic was worst than I thought, but it still only took about one hour.
When I passed Mission Viejo and the Spectrum I was getting really hungry. When I drove into your plaza, I saw your car. I’ll probably never get to drive it again. I called you to have you pick it up down stairs, you said you weren’t home. I was kind of relieved and sad at the same time. Then I saw Pat inside. I waved at her. She was pretty surprised to see me, why wouldn’t she, haha. I gave her your key and the mayday rock leehom CD. She asked me to come in then asked me if I had anything to eat. Then she asked if I want to go out to eat. I guess everyone wants to cheer me up.
I wanted going to Good year winter, but for some reason it wasn’t opened. So we went to the restaurant next doors. Pat said she was surprised that we broke up. I guess besides you, who weren’t. She said everyone thought we were the perfect couple because we never fought. I thought so too. Pat said you were always kind of mysterious to them. They never knew what you are thinking, or what’s going on with you. I wondered if that was my fault. I told her I always suggested you to go out with Pat but you always felt weird about that.
It was weird having people trying to comfort me, because it doesn’t really make me feel better. I am here eating with Pat, talking about how Rico and Natsuka had a fight because Natsuka said they never do anything, and you are somewhere out there enjoying every moment. I could imagine it. You probably were mad for me coming to Irvine because you said “No, don’t worry about it” in your text, meaning you don’t want me to come over.
Pat said she have seen Sebastian three times. She said he looks like an Alhambra person, which means he looks like an ABC. Also that he is really talkative. I wonder when you two have a conversation who would talk more. Because I know when you like someone you are really talkative too. Maybe this time you’ll be the listener?
I dropped Pat off in front of your door. Pat asked me if I wanted to come in again. Then she hesitated, because she said she doesn’t know what kind of car Sebastian drives, so she isn’t sure if you guys were inside. I don’t think you and Sebastian are inside. But I don’t want to be there anyway. I know you wouldn’t be happy to see me. So I left for San Diego. On the way I was listening to HEAT, the San Diego equivalent of POWER, and suddenly they played Two Occasions by Baby face for no apparent reason.
I know the real reason that you left me is because you love your new life style. Surrounded by friends who will ask you how your day is. Just hanging out with a group of friends doing what ever comes to mind. And me being there and asking you to give me a call is just a burden. But, perhaps you have to admit that Sebastian being there helped speed it up too. I wasn’t going to stand in your way of your new life style. But someone there made you sure that you don’t want me to be a part of your life anymore.
I still miss our own life style. When we can go out together and do things we find interesting. But I’ll have to find myself a group of friends too. Maybe I can learn to forget my love for you just like you did me.
p.s. When I came back to San Diego there were still no power in my hotel and its surrounding areas. The only place that had power was Ralph. Another thing they don’t have up here. There were a whole bunch of UCSD students just haning out in Ralph studying. It was pretty funny.
p.p.s. I wanted to buy you a post card. But I couldn’t find any. Maybe next time.