There is a saying, if you buy shoes for your boyfriend or girlfriend that means you want to end the relationship, becasue you want them to go away.

It's just funny that happens to be the last thing we bought for each other.

Today I was trying to put one of our 800 pounds rack in the the shipping crate. The crate was badly designed, and to get the damn thing to close, the metal part of the crate slamed in to my right middle finger. Blood came out right a way and I have a pretty deep cut on it. I think it's not just good things that comes in pairs.

So right now I have a bandage soak through with blood on my right hand, and day patches that refuses to quit everywhere else.

I am going to buy some anti-itch lotion that I bought for my mom, so maybe I can actually get some sleep. That is if I am lucky to be dreamless.

Eventhough I take what I said back, I think if you want your relationship with Sebastian to work well, you shouldn't keep bugging him about your ex-boy friend. Just be yourself and focus your attension to him. I hope everything works out.

Last week I thought we had fun on our phone calls. I thought our communications is getting better, but it would seem like that was just me. I don't know what made you decide you don't want to talk to me anymore, but it's unlikely you would share the reason with me.

I guess from now on, I won't see you, hear from you, our even get your e-mails. I won't bug you besides through writing on this board. Which you don't have to visit if you choose not to.

There's no doubt now what you want from me. Just leave you alone. I don't see how you will ask me to be your friend in the future. Still I wish for that day to come. You have control for everything since the breakup, all I can do is wait. I hope you will remember the promise.

So that's it. I got the boot and now I'll just get out of your way.

I'll miss you. Hope you sometimes think of me.

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